Main Street Magazine. Blogspot 2: Thoughts From an Empty Mind

Almost Home

I love the ocean's salty smell
the color of wet earth as well.
A rainbows' canopy of hues tells
you in no uncertain terms, how
beautiful is life and breath, today
I know, I tasted death.

A Summer in the City by the Sea"'

I've been a bit sick with a very nasty flu, even after having my annual flu and the H1N1 shot. Often when I'm forced to lie in bed, ugh, grr and yuck, my thoughts turn toward life and what it means and if I even understand it! The bit of poetry here was actually written an eon ago over Midway Island coming home from the UK, the long way. I was then an officer in the Intel division of the US Navy and had an almost fatal encounter. The powers that were, thought sending me back to the US the longest way, would avoid anyone from following me, though those "any ones" had been dealt with.

As our plane headed west toward Hawaii, then San Francisco, and finally DC, I began to ponder how in our youth, we are fearless and do many things we would never think of doing once we got older.

Now I am that older person, and as I curse the day and night, waiting for this flu bug to fly away, these are the thoughts that came to mind. My usual personality is basically funny, witty and curious, however when I can't get rid of a simple thing like a cold, I become far more serious and introspective. I’m naturally philosophic, lean toward the glass is always half-full and can find the sunshine on any dark day.
Yet having had a career in medicine after the Navy, I can't for the life of me figure out why this malaise has lingered for a week. My mind tells me it's my body saying stop the frenetic pace of your life and just let things run their course. But my guilty
self says I should be doing more than just lounging about talking to my new best friend Caspi, the most understanding, angelic rare white Persian pedigreed cat.
He seems to comprehend my situation, so has left his owners part of the house, and taken up residence in my bedroom, along with all of his cat accoutrements. He looks at me with his big green eyes and seems to be telling me ''everything will be OK, after all, I'm 19 years old and in human years that's 133, so I’ve seen all there is to see. Just trust me, this too will pass' I think my housemate, who has raised this impeccable wise old man, must think I'm 'round the bend, talking to her cat, but when you're not feeling great, any company is welcomed.'

Am I Disappearing?

The day they first told me I was starting to disappear, I didn't believe them and so they stopped talking and held my hand up to the sun and it was like thin paper in the light and finally they said "you seem very calm for a woman who is disappearing" and I said “it was a relief after all those years of trying to keep the pieces of my life in one place.”.

Later on, I went to see them again and as I was leaving, they put a package in my hand. "This is the last piece of your life"', they said, "take good care of it"' and then they smiled and were gone and the room filled with the sound of the wind and when I opened the package there was nothing there and I thought there must be some mistake or maybe I dropped it and I got down on my hands and knees and looked until the light began to fade and then slowly I felt the pieces of my life fall away gently and suddenly I understood what they meant and I lay there for a while crying and laughing at the same time.

Time was lost trying to find what was there all the time....’

Judi Rosen

As seen in the April Issue of MSM

Canadian ISSN: 1920-4299

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