Focus on your spouse
The 3 A's of a Healthy Relationship with Your Partner
Overtime for whatever reason many couples either call it quits or wind up staying in an unhappy relationship. However there are a number of couples who manage to beat the odds and go onto a very healthy relationship. How do they do it?
Have you ever met a married couple that was so lovey dovey that it just about made you sick to your stomach? You wouldn't mind so much if they were newlyweds, but for crying out loud these two have been together for years. Yet every time you go out with them, they are in full mushy mode. They openly vow endless love and one refuses to make any decisions without consulting the other. It's enough to make you want to sue the pastor who presided at their wedding ceremony.
The cynic in you says this is nothing more than an act they put on to fool the public at large but you know in your heart that is not true. You have seen these two in action when they didn't think anybody was looking (no not like that!) and from your observations, they are the real deal. The love, trust, mutual respect and sheer enjoyment they get from being in each other's company is as genuine as a Sunday morning.
So how did they beat the odds? In the US alone roughly 49% of all marriages end in divorce. While the good news is the divorce rate has dropped to its lowest level since 1970, the reality is 49% is still a high number.
Yet even when couples decide to stay together many are trapped in a marriage that has plenty of routine but little else. Somewhere during their relationship, the marriage went from fun and romance to a chore that saps the energy out of both parties.
It doesn't have to be that way. There may not be any full proof guaranteed cure alls for the relationship blues but every little bit helps; like the 3 A's.
1. Attitude
Marriage is a chore if you convince yourself it's a chore. Do you look at every bump in the relationship road as a crushing obstacle or a challenge to overcome which brings the two of you closer together? It's all in the way you perceive it. When you change your attitude, don't look for your spouse to make the initial move. "Saying I'll do it if you will" means that it may never get done. Work on your outlook first. Hopefully, your significant will notice what's going on and get on your wavelength.
2. Attention
Your spouse has been exercising or upgrading their appearance to please you. Are you taking notice? What about your communication and listening skills? When it's just the two of you, neither spouse should have to compete with the TV, newspaper or internet to get your attention. Keep it mind that what they want to tell you is not always going to be of the earth shattering variety. Sometimes they just want to talk or vent or see what's on your mind. Either way, show them your undivided consideration.
3. Appreciation
Too often when we think "we've got it like that" we tend to take the other person for granted. Break the mould and start buying your significant other a small gift even when it's not a special occasion. This is an excellent way to show gratitude; however it does not have to be monetary. For instance, they do the same household chore day in day out but now you start thanking them for doing it. In fact you surprise them occasionally by doing the work for your spouse without being asked to do it. When it comes to appreciation within a marriage, little things mean a lot.
The goal in any relationship is to be selfless enough so you both are a team that just keeps getting better and better. Trying the 3 A's can help considerably with your game plan. You might not ever win Couple of The Year but stick with it anyway. Eventually when people see the two of you coming, they also will start reaching for the Rolaids.
Article written by Daryl Campbell; Writer and home business owner. CEO of Campbell Marketing LLC.
© Copyright, 2010 Main Street Magazine/Rain Enterprises
As seen in the June Issue of Main Street Magazine.
Printed in Canada, ISSN: 1920-4299 by Rain Enterprises
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