Where's the Expiration Date?
By Debra Vaughn

To find a healthy marriage of 50 or more years these days is to saythe least rare. To find a marriage of 10 or more years is just asrare. The sad fact is that when people say those famous words, "I do"what they really mean is "I do, as long as..."Not only is divorce a heavy financial burden, it is also an extremeburden on the family. Half of all marriages end in divorce (aconservative estimate.) Divorce has become a ritual in today's world.Society has normalized it, made it become an everyday, "no big deal"event. Families are torn apart, children are devastated, theestranged couple is often left wondering what happened.

So what can we as a society do to prevent it? How about going intomarriage with the simple words I do, not I do as long as. There isnothing that cannot be overcome, as long as the marriage is not anabusive one.

Next, have you tried marriage counseling yet? Most people never trycounseling because they don't want to try to really save theirmarriage or they don't want anyone to know there is a problem. Thesurprising fact is that counseling does work. It gives people anenvironment where they can say exactly what the problem is and howthey really feel. An added fact is that more and more states arerequiring marriage counseling before a divorce may be granted.Third, have you tried dating? Get to know each other all over again.

People change over time, get to know the changes you and your partnerhave gone through and learn to love them, just as you did before youwere married.My father jokes often that he is still looking for the expirationdate on their marriage license. He is still looking for it 26 yearslater. They have learned to love the little quirks that each of themhas developed and deal with the ones that are not so becoming. Ifmore people could do this, do you think that the rate of divorcewould diminish? We may never know, but isn't it worth a shot?
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Debra Vaughn is a stay-at-home mother to 3 young girls. She is afreelance writer in her spare time. Debra Vaughn also edits and publishes The Family Budgeteer Bi-Weekly Online and Newsletter which can be found at http://www.familybudgeteer.com/ or subscribe now bysending a blank email to: Familybudgeteer-subscribe (@) egroups.com