These tips can help you deal with the stresses of self-employment or starting a business... or just everyday life.
We all deal with a certain amount of stress every day. Just getting out of bed can sometimes be a stressful event. But starting a business and running a business is one of the most stressful things you can do, and you may find yourself feeling overwhelmed and overloaded. After a period of time running at that high level of stress, the body begins to break down and be unable to function properly. We get clumsy, forgetful, and short-tempered. We develop short-term physical problems like headaches and neck strain. And when the immune system starts to fail, we find ourselves getting colds and the flu and other physical ailments.
Stress is really a combination of symptoms. It's a pile-up, a train wreck of feelings, all colliding and compounding each other and sending our body into a tailspin. Physically, overloading with stress is literally like being trapped in a constant state of "fight or flight", and the chemicals released into the body can do a great deal of damage.
In How Stress Effects Neurotransmitters, Bev Storer explains
The brain uses feel-good transmitters called endorphins when managing daily stress. When the brain requires larger amounts of endorphins to handle increased stress, the ratio of many of the other transmitters, one to another, becomes upset creating a chemical imbalance. We begin to feel stress more acutely -- a sense of urgency and anxiety creates even more stress. As a result, harmful chemicals are released in our bodies that may do damage, causing more stress. This vicious cycle is called the "stress cycle."
So how can we beat the effects of stress before it becomes a critical chemical situation in our bodies?
If you ate something that backlogged your system, you'd suffer the results of constipation. Your entire system would feel the effects of poisons that should have been eliminated. It's the same with backlogged emotions. When you don't let them out, they build up. Body can't hold all that energy without something going wrong.
When you begin to feel sick, your body is telling you you've got something building up that needs release.
The first step is to acknowledge what you're feeling!
Some causes of stress:
- Fear of failure
- Fear of confrontation
- Feeling inadequate or stupid
- Anger at other's stupidity
- Fear of other's disapproval
- Frustration (which is really anger suppressed)
- a goal or desire seems unreachable
- things aren't going your way
- people keep saying NO
- other demands or responsibilities keep you from doing what you want
- Too many demands on you are stretching you too thin
- Fear of rejection
- Fear of loss of security
- Fear of loss of love
Probably the most damaging of is the fear of fear. Many people view fear as a sign of weakness. Strong people aren't afraid, right? Wrong. That's just so much BS. This judgement against feelings is long and pervasive in our culture. If you don't feel and acknowledge your anger and fear, they build up. The emotions are part of us, they shouldn't be ignored. Like undigested food, eventually they begin to poison the body and symptoms of stress begin to manifest themselves. Edginess, inability to sleep, headaches, irritability, persistent neck or back aches, stomach problems. Your body is telling you there's a problem.
Start by noticing what you feel. Watch yourself as you move through your day. Pay attention, not just to your emotions, but to your body as well. Notice when your neck begins to really hurt, or what's going on around you when you begin to feel like screaming. Later, take some quiet time to remember these moments. Remember and let yourself sink down into the feelings. Often one feeling is masking another. Irritability often masks fear of some kind, for instance. Try to find the most "core" feeling, if you can. Those are the feelings that need your attention the most. If you've been suppressing them, they've had to "go underground", and they can't speak to you directly. That's why they either masquerade as other feelings, or manifest through the body in pain and illness.
You know what you're feeling... now what?
By listening to your feelings, and giving them their due, you can give them a chance to express before they manifest in your body. By express I don't mean mentalizing or rationalizing. Believe it or not, your feelings have a life of their own, and a right to be. They need to express - in sound or movement or tears. You may not like your own fears, you may wish they would just go away, but until you give them expression, they won't... they'll just build up in your system, compounding and compacting and resulting in symptoms of stress.
Starting my own home business is one of the most stressful things I've ever done. I took the advice of the experts and started working on my ideas while I still had a full-time job. Even so, I could feel the fears begin to build. What if I quit my job and then couldn't get any clients? What if I failed? Fear of loss of security was (IS!) a huge problem for me - I had always had a steady pay check and the thought of being without that security was terrifying.
I spent 6-8 months preparing for the BIG step by:
- Laying the groundwork for my home business - researching and gathering materials
- Dealing with the fears that surfaced
For a while I could only take baby-steps. I'd do something for my business ideas, and then I'd go have a good cry. By the time I was ready to quit my job, but the fear wasn't overwhelming.
Stress Busters:
There are some things you can do that can help prevent stresses from piling up and becoming a train wreck. In the article 10 Steps to DeStress, Pam Woods gives 10 good preventive measures like setting boundaries, learning to say no, and working at a job you love that lay the groundwork for a stress-free life. Or at least, minimal stress. But these steps are still only the groundwork. And life has a funny way of building up on us and suddenly, you're in the middle of a pileup. No matter what preparations we make, we still have to have ways of dealing with the stresses when they come up. We have to have ways of dealing with the feelings.
- Laughter: Watch a funny movie - have a good laugh. Laughter, like crying, releases chemicals in your brain that will make you feel good and give you the ability to cope with whatever may come.
- Tears: Have a good cry - take a pillow and a box of Kleenex, close the door and let yourself howl. This may not be easy at first, especially if you've spent your adult life suppressing your feelings. But it's worse to allow your fears to come up and then NOT allow them to express. That's like inviting a bull to stomp on your head for a while. When you start to listen to your feelings, they will WANT to express. If you sit quietly with them (and give yourself permission to express whatever they are), your feelings will take over and begin to flow out of you on their own.
- Physical Activity: Take a brisk walk or do some vigorous exercise - physical activity helps release the energy that's tied up in your body, and gets those endorphins flowing. Pound on something - chop wood, beat a rug, dig a hole.
- Deep Relaxation: Listen to soothing music. Practice some of the body relaxation techniques in meditation. Breathe deeply, and mentally talk to your body, one part at a time. Relax, let go. I have even made myself a relaxation tape which I can use to help me get into a deeply relaxed state.
- Imagine worst case scenarios - Most fears culminate in a fear of death. This may seem radical, but really when it gets down to it, what is the fear, really? Lack of money? What happens if you have no money? You lose your house, perhaps (fear of loss of security)... your spouse leaves you (fear of loss of love)... you starve ... and die. Sometimes if you take your fear all the way to the natural conclusion you'll find that it's really not so overwhelming. So, what's the worse that could happen? You die? Usually by this point in my imaginings, I'm laughing at myself. And laughter is a GREAT stress buster.
- Change Your Routine: If you usually get the kids off to school and then settle in to your business/work, change it! Instead, take a hot bath, exercise, and spend a few moments in deep relaxation. Then get to work.
- Plan You’re Time: Starting a home business will consume a lot of your time. If you have a family and are still holding a full or part time job, you'll need to plan your time carefully. Figure out how much time you can give to your business each day, or each week. You may want to sit down with your family and let them know how important this new venture is to you. Get their feedback and agreement on how much time will be spent with them, and how much on your business. This way, they have participation in your process and won't feel so left out when you're working on your business stuff. If money will be tight, get their ideas on how you can all budget for a while, until your business is thriving.
- Feed your heart: One of the best stress-busters is simply doing something you love. If you find the business of crafting is getting too stressful, leave the business side for a while and just do a project you enjoy for the love of it. Do something to please your own heart. When my business becomes too stressful, I often go into the garden and play in the dirt for a while. I water something that doesn't need watering, I weed and plant and smell the earth. I play with my dogs and get far away from the business stuff for a while. Then, with my heart fed, I am more able to deal with the stress of my business, and things don't bother me as much.
Give yourself time to ease into self-employment slowly. Listen to your feelings and your body, and the stresses of working for yourself won't become so very overwhelming.
~Christine Torres~
As seen in the April Issue of MSM
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